A Report From the Cold Front

Hi everybody!
I would have dropped you all a line a while ago, but my Edgewood e-mail account (along with addresses) was prematurely destroyed while I was in DC (may it rest in peace). Anyway, Jess was kind enough to hook me up with the addresses again.

So, does anybody have massive Valentine's Day festivities planned this weekend. I'll just be doing the usual... donning my diaper and going out in search of targets for my suction cup tipped arrows! Nobody shall be safe from my agile arrows d'amour!

At the moment I'm still searching for work, and also studying for that grand standardized survey of knowledge, the GRE. Regrettably, I have been informed that you cannot mark your answers in crayon, a fact which will certainly make the experience less enjoyable.
While I'm searching for that job that will make me set for life in five years, I've also started working again at the roller rink. I had forgotten the countless little pleasures that accompany working at a roller rink; the gentle swish of the slushy machine, the dancing of the mirror balls as the lights dim, the hallucination-inducing smells of the rental skates. If I spend too long in the back with those things, I turn into a reincarnated, albeit less accurate version of Nostradamus.

My time hanging around the rink has given me an idea for a much more exciting game room experience. We have the standard setup, the video games, the ticket dispensing games, and the "redemption counter", where people get things like rubber balls for the equivilant of thirty dollars.

Well, in the spirit of balance, I think it's about time we get a "damnation counter" to go along with our "redemption counter". You see, the way it would work is that those who did well would still get to go to the "redemption counter" and claim their prizes. However, those not doing well would have to report to the "damnation counter", where they would be required to put on sackcloth and pile ashes on their head, all the while saying "Woe is me! Woe to me and my decrepid gaming abilities". This would not have to be eternal damnation, just damnation until they gain enough tickets to report to the redemption counter.

For the wealthy patrons, we would also establish an indulgence counter where they could buy indulgences in hopes of avoiding the damnation counter completely. I think these steps would create a much more exciting and dramatic gaming experience, where the penalty for losing is so much more fascinating than just wasting a quarter. And besides, I'm certain the indulgences counter would rake in the dough. What do you guys think? Want to go in on this with me?

I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day! And make sure to cuddle up with that significant other, or perhaps just cuddle up with random strangers, as I plan on doing (grin)!

Shooting the arrows d'amour to you,

Peter