Dear Friends,
Scientists tell us that during the big bang (the scientific phenomenon; not the dvd your friend got for their bachelor/bachelorette party), horrific, atrocious, and (add equally ill fitting adjectives here) amounts of gravity ripped matter apart and caused it to expand over a rather large distance... the known reaches of the universe, to be exact. Regrettably, the known reaches of the universe continue to expand today, constantly frustrating our efforts to use "known reaches of the universe" as a consistent unit of measure. Anyway, I digress...
According to scientists, nothing could withstand the awesome power of this cataclysmic gravitational pull, except one thing... the female dance circle.
With all our knowledge of physics, thermodynamics, and ergonomics, we have still yet to discover a force that can pull apart a circle of girls who "just want to go out and have a good time dancing together". Certainly, this in not caused by any lack of effort. For many years, guys have been trying to figure out how to talk to that cute girl who is shaking it on the dance floor with her friends, and have found themselves dashed like bugs against the most impenetrable substance known to man.
Once the circle is formed, it shall remain unbroken. The only hope of penetrating a female dance circle is to await the moment when one of them leaves the circle to get a drink or go to the bathroom. It is at this time that the breach must be immediately exploited, lest the girls close the circle again, shutting their solar system off from all external forces.
Cockroaches and girls in dance circles are the only things capable of surviving an all-out nuclear war. Einstein once said that "World War Three will be fought with sticks and stones." I disagree; World War Three would be fought with dance-off competitions by all the girls who happened to be in dance clubs when Armageddon arrived. The winning tribe in these competitions would gain possession of the world's last remaining resources... namely, food, water, and tube tops.
Regards,
Peter
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