MOO Aid

Dear Friends,

Every year, hundreds of thousands of Wisconsin expatriates around the globe suffer from Wisconsin Dairy Deficiency Syndrome (WDDS), forcing them to eat and drink inferior, ethically compromising dairy products from California, Illinois, and Sri Lanka. Thousands of these poor souls spend hours digging through garbage dumps for anything retaining a trace of Wisconsin dairy, even discarded cheese packaging, that will give them the sustenance to to go on.

By now, you're probably asking yourself, "What can I do about such an enormous problem?" Or perhaps, "What has Peter been smoking?" Well, my friends, you no longer need to sit back feeling helpless while our dairyland brethren languish in wastelands where no cows ever tread. Now is the time to make a difference; now is the time to join MOO Aid.

For only twenty-seven cents a day, about the price of a cup of coffee, or a new reverse polarity condenser coil for your intergalactic death ray gun, you can sponsor a Wisconsinite living abroad, and make sure that they never go another day without the Wisconsin dairy products and Cheesehead paraphernalia that they need to survive.

Think about it; for only twenty-seven cents a day, about the amount that strangers give you to call someone who cares, you can drastically improve the quality of life for a Wisconsin expatriate. To show our appreciation for your benevolence, you will be given a photograph of your sponsored Wisconsinite, as well as a sheet of cheese cloth embroidered with their basic biographical information.

In addition, we will be holding a benefit concert next summer to raise additional funds for these impoverished souls. Live MOO Aid will feature world renown dairy loving groups like the Guernsey Gal Trio, the Moolicious Melody Makers, and the Blue Cheese Brass Band.

Don't delay, pick up your phone now and call 1-800-MOO-FUND, or sign up at www.mooaid.com. Our operators are standing by.

Sincerely,

Peter Groth
President of MOO Aid