The Visigoth Anti-Defamation League

Dear friends, allies, and fellow pike weilding barbarian hordes of the lower steppes,

This year is happy year, for we celebrate 1,647th anniversary of Visigoth uprising! But in truth, friends, it is a difficult time to be a Visigoth. It used to be that every time I was out around town running errands, and someone discovered I am Goth, horrible visions of burnings, lootings, and barbarians on the march passed through their mind. This all pleased Alaric very much.

But now? Great Hannibal! Every time I mention that I am Goth, somebody asks me if I listen to something called The Cure? What is this Cure? And what ailments can I use it for? Is it an ointment I can rub on the stump where my finger used to be after a particularly fierce battle with the Romans?

Then, the next day, someone tells me that I must go to the Cistern Coffee Shop, because there would be a large meeting of Goths there on Saturday night. Truly, my heart lept within me, for I have been searching for my brothers in arms for many years.

Imagine my shock when I discovered a room full of Goths wearing dark make-up and reciting poetry that made Alaric think that life is not so good. Is this what civilisation has done to my once proud barbarian horde?

Really, friends, these disgruntled make-up wearing youngsters are the greatest threat to the Visigoth legacy since flamboyant gothic architecture; I mean, flamboyant?! Gothic?! These two words never go together!

You doubt me? Well, yes, I admit, one time these words did go together. It was at Alaric's birthday party last year. Alaric's brother, Vladic, dressed up as sissy roman emporer and danced around fire for five hours. This made Alaric laugh very heartily. HA HA HA! Yes, like that, a hearty laugh fitting of a barbarian.

Anyway, back to flamboyant gothic architecture. Would Visigoths take two hundred years to build church, and fill it with frilly towers and elegant bas-relief (Alaric has been using his retirement lately to study art)? I think not! Visigoths would take mountain, set it out on plain, and carve out church with bare hands in ten days! Not that we build many churches.
Back to Goths. I fear that these young, tragically depressed quarter staffs are the greatest threat to Visigoth reputation in many years.

I know, I know; wife always tell me, "Alaric? Why are you so hard on Goths? They have many things in common with you! They are very depressed, just like you were, and paint their faces just like you too!"

Yes, Goths say they are very depressed. Visigoths know what it's like being depressed. Visigoths sometimes got very depressed too, thinking that life was sucking so much, and that getting up to face a new day as a Visigoth was more sucking than we could handle.....

SO WE DESTROYED THE ROMAN EMPIRE THAT MADE LIFE SUCK!!!!!

Also, we Visigoths do paint our faces sometimes....

WITH THE BLOOD OF OUR ENEMIES!!!!!

Yes, my friends, I miss the days when the mention of the word Visigoth would cause people to recoil in horror from me. So, I come to you, as one who has often plundered your lands and run off with your womens, asking you to please join the Visigoth Anti-Defemation League, and help keep the legacy of the Visigoth alive for the next generation.

Sincerely,

Alaric I - Posthumous President of the Visigoth Anti-Defemation League