The Great Potholes of the Soul

Dear Friends,

As the ice and snow have begun to recede on this Valentine's Day, revealing enormous, Volkswagon sized potholes, we pause to contemplate the great potholes of our souls, and the best way to fill them.

1. Stuff
Stuff's popularity continues to explode, with sales of stuff increasing exponentially all over the globe. Stuff continues to dominate as the most popular method for finding metaphysical contentment. So, buy Stuff and fill your pothole with that.

2. Find your true codependent love
A high quality co-dependent relationship is sometimes hard to find; but fear not, if you find one that's bordering on functional, just nourish it with plenty of mutual distrust, jelously, and static cling. You'll be Klingons in no time.

3. Find your Skoal mate
Yes, friends, if you haven't yet found a soul mate, just find yourself a Skoal mate. Nothing promotes spiritual kinship with another soul like chewing the chaw. So, find your Skoal mate and fill your pothole with Teebaccy juice.

4. Chocolate

There are two things in the universe capable of unconditional agape love; God, and chocolate. So, next time you feel unloved or unwanted, just open up that wrapper, because chocolate doesn't care if we have baggage, committment issues, or neurosis; it just wants to love us with all the chocolatey goodness it can.

Of course, if these don't work, one can always try friendship, religion, true love, meditation, volunteering, activism, random acts of kindness, etc, etc; but I would only use these as a last resort (grin).

Have a great Valentine's Day!

Don Pedro